you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
