Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
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The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
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He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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