in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
