Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize