So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
