Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
