Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
