Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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