Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Randomize
