I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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