Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
