I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
