I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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