watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
