GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
