Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
