No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
