Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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