I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize