They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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