You're my little dorito
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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