Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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