Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
