This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
