i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
