I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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