if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
40s are totally the cure
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
