You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
