My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
