Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
