Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize