I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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