im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
