I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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