oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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