She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
