I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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