how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
