The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
