What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
