I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
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Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
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it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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