I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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