I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
