Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
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It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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