I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
