i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
