is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
