The maid of honor just puked.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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