his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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