You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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