I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize