whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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