Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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