I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
