I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize