Yo dont text me then not text me
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
