I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
