But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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