Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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