Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
