Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
