i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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