Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize